I can't fix some things

a quick post. it would've been a long one if it wasn't 10.30pm already. anyway... i just wanted to type this out. i had this awesome friend when i was 13, she's the best, she really is, we talk everyday and she knows me best, better than anyone and i love her. i can't really explain what happened mostly because i have no idea what actually happened, things just happened and i regret that it did. we grew up and went separate ways and i'm sorry everyday, every single day, that we're not as good friends as we were before, i miss her so much and i wish we were close again. i can't believe this is hitting me hard now. i just saw her going online on facebook and i'm thinking "oh my god what have i done" :'(

i never wanna feel like this about any of my other friends ever. and no one in the world should ever have to feel the way i do about my old friend. it's awful.

Here's to you!

okay, here i am, waiting for 2010 which will happen in approximately a couple more hours. so i've decided to wish ya'll

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I WELCOME YOU 2010!

yeah when i was younger my mom would hassle us to write new year's resolution and i would write them because it's fun.

okay so i'm off to to go write them now.

ah hang on, yes, my wishes for the year ahead perhaps?

i truly hope the coming year treats myself and all of you better than the last :)

and if there's something you regret doing or wish you had done differently or wish you had done at all, by all means, start now, you've been given a chance to start anew :)

and i don't know if you guys know this but i'm kinda prone to accidentally bruising and cutting myself. reckless, something i should work on. anyway, i got away this year with, let's see, 2 visible scars, that's okay, kinda better than last year.

yeah, so i think i survived 2009 pretty well, Alhamdulillah.

I just hope i can say the same at the end of 2010, InsyaAllah.

alright one more time for keepers: Happy New Year fellas!

Imran and I

yeah, haha, that's the caption to this picture

22nd Dec 2009

Hey Imran Happy Birthday! i hope you had fun ;)

i wanna take this chance to say some stuff.

Thanks im, for... everything, really, i can't thank you enough, i can always always rely on you, it's nice to know you have my back and i'm so incredibly happy to have you as my friend. you're funny as hell and the fact that you listen to my worries and make me feel better afterwards just makes you one priceless companion, you're awesome! and i mean it :D love yah loads!

I was a dreamer

When I sent Hun Yin off at KLIA 3 months ago, one of the last things she made me do was to promise that i'll visit her in Warwick. I said "I promise". I imagined i'd visit her 2 or 3 years from then, certainly not 2 months later. But here I am, writing a post on what happened last week, when i actually ACTUALLY did it :D

Let me tell you the whole story! I proposed this idea(going to UK) to a few people and they were like "jom ah" and they suggested we have a Euro-trip, this was going well and all except when it came to the part of who should be on our Euro-trip team. Didn't want to leave anyone out sebab nanti ada yang terasa kang. malas aku. So naturally the figure of our Euro-trip team became a double digit. So i made a mental note to go to UK in March 2010... alone. I didn't tell anyone because honestly... i don't think i'll really go there... not anytime soon anyway. Still, it wouldn't hurt to dream, i told my groupmate, Farizah Fauzi of this idea, i told her i wanna go to UK on my own someday and the day before i flew to UK she reminded me of how i told her about this a long time ago and i have actually forgotten about it, i can't believe i was actually ticking something off my "things i think i'd never do but i guess i'm wrong"

So anyway, suddenly, the Vice Dean had this meeting with us and among the things he discussed was our Eid adha break, he said something along the lines of "you get a nine-day holiday" and even then UK trip still hasn't struck me. I was thinking of following other people to perhaps Luxor Aswan Turkiye etc. It wasn't until one day i was eating at this place in our university and so happens Shadi(our egyptian friend) joined my table and we got talking and he was talking about going to Netherlands and it hit me then that maybe i should go to UK this month instead of March! and Shadi was totally encouraging me, he was like "just go!" I went straight to the tour agent and asked for the flight ticket fare. It was within my budget. Good. Now all i have to do is see if my friends in London would be able to have me over at their place. i only know 3 people in UK. Well 4 if you count Robert Pattinson. Ok lame. Anyway, I only know 3 people there and all of them aren't at the same place. Totally scattered.

Ikmal's in London. Hun Yin's in Coventry. Aina's in Canterbury. I plan to go to each of those places. So i emailed them before i bought my flight tickets and this was about 2 weeks before I actually plan to go, time was running out so i was trying to get all the information i need and also prepare for my Haematology block exam. shit. Nah kidding. I love medicine, no sarcasm, really. All three of them gave awesome responses and they were so welcoming in their emails that i bought my flight tickets right away. Aina told me if i mind the fact that i'd be alone most of the time seeing that ikmal hun yin and herself would be having classes. i told her that she just needed to tell me which places to go and i'll just go. I can't deny the fact that i am so nervous thinking i'd be roaming those English streets alone but can't help feeling excited to be on my own and see how i'd survive on my own haha.

And 24th of Dec came as it should and after taking my Haematology exam i went straight to Cairo and off to Heathrow. Hana, my housemate is with me on flights, she's visiting her sister. So, the night before, i've told Ikmal i 'll arrive at heathrow at 9pm but there was some sort of delay and my plane landed at 10pm, i was sooooo worried that ikmal would have waited for so long and think i didn't come or something because there was no way of contacting him. I went out of the airport and spotted ikmal right away and i was screaming because i haven't seen him in years! he took me to his best friend's place, Nab. We took the underground tube and along the way he told me where he would be taking me tomorrow and he was telling all sorts of things about his house and studies. Wait, hang on, places YOU would be taking me? Don't you have classes? and ikmal said he's skipping 2 days of lecture! and i love him for that! he has algebra and he doesn't always attend them anyway. i felt a surge of relief, pheww at least ikmal would be showing me around for the first couple of days, yay! so i arrived at Nab's place like midnight and ikmal was telling me to be careful because there's been random stabbing in London *shudder*. Nab's place is dead in front of Trafalgar Square! can you imagine! the place was beautiful! Ikmal introduced me to Nab and all 3 of us hung out at her place till dawn while watching Edward Scissorshand (my choice). Nab's roommate is French and i got to know her in the morning. and my vacation starts early the next day! next post next post!

Athirah: Oh my gosh

together forever

i bet you've read something like this in other posts but whatever. my blog so i write whatever i want la.

i miss home! not hum eh, haha i love you hum :)

is this some sort of feeling that'll slowly go away as i sink into histology biochemistry etc.? i need to know sigh..

missing the sight of that place i call home. i'm just waiting for that special moment when i get my feet off these egyptian grounds and back to Malaysia. lama gila lagi. arghhh i'm not letting anyone come and study here if it's anywhere near my power.

i miss my parents la and my sisters and my brothers and my nieces and my neighbors. blegh.

when i was in Malaysia, i met Nicky(my very good friend) a few times and we have this group we call the alpha gang haha, sounds funny when i type it here, anyway, nicky is this smart ass who always thinks of out-of-the-box-things (what i call crazy ideas) but looking as he's a candidate who's going to oxford soon i now call those ideas as nicky's ambitious plans. okay so Nicky plans that we go to the Olympics in London in 2012, our major gathering. he's actually mentioned this since last year and everyone has actually agreed and i totally hope that i don't have exams at that particular period of time(when the Olympics is on) so that i get to attend this historical and somewhat adventurous gathering :D i'm gonna try my best to be there. because as cheesy as this sounds.. they've actually been there when i needed them. and they've actually followed through with some of nicky's ambitious plans haha and to be at such an event like the Olympics with them would be such an awesome thing. can't wait :) i miss the alpha gang... and you know what we say to each other after phone calls or emails to each other... we'll always have Olympics <3

how i hope so

insyaAllah

Tuesdays

ironically it's a Tuesday today.

last year, my elder sister asked me if i've read Tuesdays with Morrie to which i replied no. she told me i should get around to reading it.

these past few weeks my younger sister kept telling me the contents of the book and she too advised me to read it.(she does not usually tell me to do good things xD)

where have i seen the book? hmm, on my sister's bookshelf and on ika's bedside table.

i flipped open the book last night. i cried at the very start of the book and had to control myself because i realised i was crying at each chapter. the only author who has made me cry was J.K. Rowling, well until now. I could barely read with tears flowing. No really, i'm thinking there's something wrong.. with me.

I watched 'The Kite Runner' and at parts of the movie i felt lumps in my throat. IT'S JUST A MOVIE for crying out loud. bleghh, because i see that these kinda things affect me emotionally, i'm gonna make sure i don't watch or read things that may get to me. oh and you know what, i cried watching Spiderman 2.

I skipped town a few weeks ago, just for a day. When i said goodbye to my parents and nieces, i was practically weeping, even though i knew i was gonna see them the day after. i was just gone for the night and even that i can't handle.

i fear what's gonna happen on 12th Oct at the airport. ya Allah, give me strength.

Why Chuck is Numero Uno

There are three things i care about Nathaniel. Money, the pleasure money brings me and you.

Chuck Bass