Can't hear you man

Michael O'Neill: Kimmy says, if you love someone, you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just...

Julianne Potter and Michael O'Neill: Passes you by...

My Best Friend's Wedding

Be hale and hearty

How can I say. Who wouldn't be happy that they've returned to a place where problems just resolve and the heart feels serenity you can find no place else. However, the bad news that followed suit sort of stirred the peace i have been looking forward to for months. I could not really hold back tears. Totally sucks when you realize there's like absolutely nothing you can do to make it better or better yet just make it go away. The fact that i was told 3 weeks later than everybody else.. I can't decide if that was a good or bad move that they made. I'm just gonna be all positive and say it was the right thing to do. Well i was having my final exams and all. Got the biggest shock when they told me, on the way back home from the airport. They kept on telling me, shouldn't be weak. Suck it in, life's gonna hand you all sorts of things. Take it like a man. Right. So the schedule i have planned for my holidays totally changed. Canceling seventy percent of it, until situations have proved to improve. Have been trying to distract myself by all means possible. Can't afford to shed a tear more. No one can stand it anymore. Given time i'm gonna accept how things have changed. Lets not talk about all this negativity anymore. What i need? Some cheering up, so i don't depress the next person who looks at my face. Yeah. I don't want to repeat this distressing subject if i can afford it.

P.S. I need you to get well soon Dad. God bless.

Yeah

I'm home :D

Egypt today...

Malaysia tomorrow xD

Camaraderie

Circumstances have changed. It's no longer months or weeks to going back home. It's days or maybe hours for some (like me). I got bored of packing and hence this post. I've been stuffing things into boxes for a good 2 hours and i still have loads to do. My room has never looked so terrible. Well i guess it happens to everyone who has to move out (did my excuse work?).

I am such a loser. I get so fucking sentimental about this kinda stuff. Goodbyes and leaving. I want nothing more than to get my feet off these Egyptian grounds but it's gonna take a few deep breaths for me to not cry. First of all let me make myself clear. I can't wait to leave Egypt okay and go to a place where i call home. Second of all... I cry over a lot of things (bet you didn't see that coming), especially goodbyes.

Can't say i hate goodbyes. It'd make things so much sorrowful if we didn't say our goodbyes. (am i sounding like a weirdo yet)

I can't believe i'm moving out of this hostel. God. I love this place. I still have videos of all of us moving in. This place looked like a hotel. We were the 1st to use everything. The toilets were shining and gleaming like those in palaces. The beds pillows tables computers were never before used till we came. I should be so lucky. I managed to get the biggest room with the best people you could have as roommates and floormates. Damn. There's gonna be some serious flood coming around when i bid them farewell.

I can't do this. Should've seen this coming. But when we moved in, it seemed like years before we had to move out... and tomorrow i'm moving out! Someone told me: to every hello there's a goodbye (whether you like it or not). Sigh. I wish i didn't get myself so attached to certain people. We're not gonna be living together anymore, God bless them, they made my life a little easier here and there and heaven knows if we're gonna even see each other anymore or be as close as we are now. Lets face it. We don't mingle in kuliah, like there's even time to go around and chat. And if we're not in the same kuliah?

I know i'm sounding a little crazy. But this is me. It's not easy for me to let go... of anything. And i'll be the one feeling all broken and the thing is i'm the only one feeling that way. Will go down memory lane ever so often and wishing if i could somehow have those old moments back. I hate that about me. Why the hell is it so hard to move on?

I may not be eager to make new friends sometimes. I fear stuff like i'll change or you change or we grow apart through all these years and ultimately that heartbreaking goodbye i'll have to face when all of us graduate and leave Egypt for good. It's too much for me. I'm sorry.

Camaraderie means friendship by the way :)

Flick and swish

Just so happens not all the cinemas here are premiering Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince.
From one cinema to another. It is so not fun people.
We had to do it. The next sane thing. Took a cab, went to another cinema and

SCORE!!!

sweet mother of popcorn!!! wasn't even a line. just went straight to the counter. this is the best thing i spent my money on for years (since the last harry potter movie of course)

It is totally expected to be less... err.. just less than the book. But heck. It has been so much awaited that i don't care! Imagined Dumbledore to have underwent much more drama before he died and the movie was sort of like... draggy at some parts.

All the same. One mission in life accomplished. 2 million more to go.

Happy. Okay. Histology now.

Ooooh in approximately 4 more days... BALIK KAMPUNG! The flight back home has come at the right time. I simply refuse to take any more of what this place has to offer. Thanks but no thanks.

Superman

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POKNIK

the 1st time i saw you i thought you were Eizlan Yusof. Honest!

Love you! thanks for everything :D

Play

It sucks to know you can't do something.

You think you're over one thing.

Lie. Just so you feel better.

and by you i mean me

and i wish i made more sense.

Scaredy-cat

and then there were five. (papers to go)

I hate the feeling. I don't know if i'm the only one who feels it but it's one awful emotion.

We've had 2 papers so far. And each time i enter the hall, i'll be shaking like mad. My brain's all topsy-turvy and if you try talking to me then, i'll run out of breath so fast. My hands literally tremble. Dayyymn. I shouldn't allow pieces of paper to make me feel this terrible.

This usually lasts 10 to 15 minutes from the start of paper. but still.
these exams scare the daylights out of me.

people say if you're scared it's because you're not fully prepared or something but that can't be it. i'd make sure i've finished reading all that needs to be read before exam day comes.

the feeling is super unpleasant man! and to think i'd have 5 more times of this coming.

i'm going to try to control my nerves and all. it's not easy you know. not easy at all.

one more thing:

I NEED HOME

Broken

I hear people around me talking about Malaysia like every hour. They're excited to go home. Good. I didn't really understand because I didn't really feel anything. Sure i want to go home, it's just.. instead of 'can't wait', I actually can wait for the day my flight leaves for Malaysia.

or so i thought

I realized i really really need to go home. The need is intense. Mom called as soon as exam ended today and i heard my sisters and my brother's kids in the background and i wanted to hop on any means of transportation that could send me home right that instance. I wanted to be there too. I guess what i'm trying to say is.. I miss all of them. I truly do. This has to be my weak moment. My heart really feels... well sad.

17 more days. Gosh i need to pull myself together.